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Introduction
Building a successful romantic relationship requires the possession of key interpersonal communication proficiencies. Many people lack the skills that are necessary for the development and growth of close romantic relationships. Three steps can improve the process of conveying information between two people if applied effectively. They are proper timing, choosing an effective technique, and demonstrating empathy. It is important to choose a suitable time to talk about pressing issues, prepare the message and be willing to listen attentively and think about how the other party will receive the message. Communication between partners cannot be perfect because of factors such as differences in values and beliefs. However, certain measures can be implemented to ensure that there is enhanced understanding and minimize conflicts. These include identifying a partners communication style, developing knowledge of the other persons needs, practicing honesty, transparency, and empathy, and attentive listening. When speaking to a loved one, it is important to be considerate, candid, open, and empathetic. Understanding and embracing the other persons means of emotional expression, respecting boundaries, and being attentive during conversations are key aspects of communicating effectively in romantic relationships, especially during the first year.
Fundamentals of Communication
Communication can be defined as the conveyance of information from one person to another using a certain channel and medium. It is founded on certain basic concepts that include the prerequisites that must be fulfilled for the transfer of information to occur. These include a communicator (sender and receiver), a message, a channel, a medium, the environment, and feedback. Others include code and noise (Fujishin 40). Effective interaction in a romantic relationship is based on the acquisition of basic knowledge regarding the aforementioned concepts and how they relate with each other. Communication involves the exchange of information between a sender and a receiver (Adler et al. 67). In a relationship, it encompasses two people who love each other, with one sending the message and the other receiving it. The roles of both parties could be fixed or fluid, and they reverse regularly depending on the topic of discussion. A message is a verbal or nonverbal utterance that is aimed at conveying certain information while a code is a system that communicators use to formulate messages (Fujishin 43). A channel refers to the means used to transmit a message and a medium is a form through which communication takes place (Adler et al. 68). Noise refers to any type of internal, external, or semantic interference that affects the transmission of a message.
The environment is defined as the context in which communication occurs. It is an important factor because it influences how the sender and receiver react to a specific message. In a relationship, feedback is an invaluable aspect because it conveys information about how a receiver takes a certain message. The sender adjusts their method based on whether it is positive or negative. There are several levels, namely intrapersonal, interpersonal, public, mass, and computer-mediated communication (Fujishin 47). These concepts help people in romantic relationships to understand how to interact effectively and how to adjust their actions to suit different situations. People communicate in different ways. Some are subtle, others are direct, while others prefer either consensus or confrontation. In many instances, effective interaction is characterized by the frequent adjustment of the style used, depending on the circumstances and personalities involved in a conversation.
Keys to Effective Communication
The most common misconception that people have is the idea that talking or discussing an issue amounts to effective communication. In a romantic relationship, the most important aspect is emotional connection. This is achieved through the proper utilization of verbal and nonverbal skills in order to fulfill the other persons needs and desires. Small talk is a critical component in a successful conversation. However, many people overplay its importance in romantic relationships because understanding a partners point of view, showing empathy, and listening attentively is more important. Moreover, learning the proper use of body language and other non-verbal cues can mean the difference between proper communication and engagement in conversations that lead to misunderstanding and conflicts.
Identify Communication Styles
Every individual has a distinct style that they use to interact with other people and exchange information. In a romantic relationship, each party has a different communication preference. For instance, some people prefer to talk while others respond better to minimal conversation accompanied by nonverbal cues. Understanding ones preference is insufficient because a romantic relationship comprises two people. Therefore, learning about the other persons inclinations is critical. People communicate their needs and desires in diverse ways (Adler et al. 24). In that regard, the most important part of developing a lasting relationship is learning about how ones partner conveys certain information. Miscommunication leads to the emergence of conflict and frustration as trust and intimacy fail to flourish.
There are four main types of communication that people adopt in romantic relationships. They are passive, assertive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive (Fujishin 64). Passive individuals avoid talking directly about their needs, wants, desires, likes, and dislikes. Aggressive people usually cross the boundaries when expressing their feelings, needs, and opinions (Lane 44). Passive-aggressive individuals pretend to be fine, but their speech and actions are characterized by hostility and dissatisfaction. Their goal is to have certain needs met without dealing directly with the person who is responsible for their predicament. Assertive people state their needs, desires, and opinions openly and honestly, and do not violate other peoples boundaries (Lane 44). One of the aforementioned styles is always at play during any conversation. Therefore, gaining knowledge about an individuals preference is key to the success of a romantic relationship.
Timely Communication
Timely communication is a key ingredient of effective interaction in a romantic relationship in the first year. Partners should pick an appropriate time to talk about issues that concern them. Many relationships break down because some people choose the wrong time to dialogue with their partners (Lane 52). For instance, it is ill-timed to talk about serious matters after a long day at work because of the probability that one partner could be unreceptive due to fatigue or an unpleasant mood. Therefore, important conversations should be put off until a time when both parties are fully prepared. Initiating them at inappropriate times leads to unnecessary conflicts. For example, starting a discussion when one of the parties is angry or emotionally perturbed can cause misunderstanding that is likely to hamper proper communication (Lane 57). Couples should set aside a specific time to discuss their relationship issues when they are both emotionally and physically ready.
Proper Preparation
Discussions in romantic relationships are usually deep and unpredictable because they involve emotions. The twists and turns caused by unexpected comments and feedback necessitate proper preparation. Detachment and flexibility are skills that enhance communication between partners (Lane 71). For example, many people become disappointed because they approach a conversation with an attachment to how it should play out. Their rigidity compels them to embrace a communication style that is inappropriate for the attainment of specific goals (Wood 51). Therefore, it is important to be in the moment and to respond to issues as they emerge. Preparation for such a discussion involves knowing what to say, how to say it, and being aware of the boundaries. For instance, if a conversation is about the failure to spend sufficient time together, then being assertive is the best style to use. Such an issue requires both partners to talk candidly about what they want.
Empathy
Empathy is defined as the ability to tune into other peoples emotions and understand their perspectives in different situations. It is one of the most important building blocks of strong relationships. In communication, it is applied when an individual considers what they do, how they do it, and its impact on other peoples welfare (Wood 66). Empathy is a skill that allows people to express their needs and desires directly, give and receive feedback without blame, listen attentively, and talk honestly without crossing boundaries (Lane 84). In order to communicate effectively, individuals must think about their partners needs and perspectives regarding certain issues. Applying empathy is an effective way of building trust and resolving conflicts for the reason that imagining oneself in other peoples situations implies understanding (Wood 87). Romantic relationships are strengthened by partners willingness to identify and understand each others feelings, experiences, and thoughts, and this promotes the feeling of being valued and loved.
There are several ways that people can demonstrate empathy during communication: talking less and listening more, allowing other people to speak first, and paying attention in order to connect (Wood 93). Empathetic communication is impossible without attentive listening, which involves the application of all senses and a high level of concentration. It is important to let people speak without interrupting them or allowing the mind to think about unrelated matters. People feel understood when they are given the opportunity to speak without unnecessary interjections.
Conclusion
Effective communication is an important component of a close romantic relationship. Basic concepts include a sender, receiver, message, code, channel, medium, and feedback. The acquisition of knowledge about these aspects makes interactions better and more fruitful. Effective communication in romantic relationships is primarily dependent on certain key factors. These include an awareness of the other persons style, empathy, proper preparation, and the ability to choose an appropriate time to discuss issues. People have different methods of conveying information. Therefore, understanding how they pass certain messages along is important. Proper communication necessitates sufficient preparation. Every individual should know what they want to say, how they intend to say it, and its potential effect on others. This is directly connected to the ability to choose the most appropriate time to talk about certain matters. Both partners should be mentally and physically healthy before talking about issues in their relationship. Otherwise, misunderstandings and conflicts could render their communication ineffective. Listening to connect emotionally rather than respond builds trust and allows people to practice empathy.
Works Cited
Adler, Ronald Brian, Rosenfeld, Lawrence, and Russell Proctor. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication. 13th ed., Oxford University Press, 2015.
Fujishin, Randy. Natural Bridges: A Guide to Interpersonal Communication. Routledge, 2016.
Lane, Shelly D. Interpersonal Communication: Competence and Contexts. 2nd ed., Routledge, 2016.
Wood, Julia T. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters. 8th ed., Cengage Learning, 2016.
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